STAYING SAFE WHEN THINGS FEEL UNBEARABLE

Safety Planning and Harm Reduction

Support for When You’re Not Ready to Reach Out Yet

Common signs in individuals: Intense suicidal ideation, hopelessness, urges for isolation, refusal to contact services, possible past trauma related to help-seeking..

Home Strategies
Create a personalised "Survival Plan"
Keep a written or visual plan including reasons to stay alive, self-soothing strategies, and a simple plan for getting through the next 24 hours.

Restrict access to means
Remove or reduce access to high-risk items (e.g. medications, weapons) in collaboration with someone they trust, if possible.

Identify "anchoring" connections
List a few people they feel even slightly safe with, even if they don’t want to talk about suicidal thoughts—encourage brief contact (e.g. text or shared activity).

Use "time-based" coping
Encourage delaying action for a set time (e.g. 10 minutes, 1 hour, 24 hours) when urges peak. Use timers and reminders to break the sense of permanence.

Create a "Distress Kit"
Include grounding tools (stone, scent, music), distraction items (puzzle, art supplies), and sensory comforts (weighted blanket, fidget object).

Daily micro-structure
Keep to a basic routine of eating, hygiene, sleep, movement, even in small ways. Use a simple plan with no more than 3 essential items per day.

"Middle-ground" journalling
Write about distress in a way that externalises it (e.g. letter to suicidal thoughts, dialogue with self) to reduce overwhelm and gain perspective.

Limit isolation without pressure
Encourage being in shared spaces (e.g. café, library, sitting near others) even without direct engagement, to gently maintain connection.

Identify meaningful distractions
List activities that have previously held their attention even briefly (e.g. favourite YouTube channel, nostalgic movie, walks) and schedule them in.

Validate autonomy and choice
Acknowledge that they are choosing to stay alive, even moment by moment, as a form of strength. Avoid pushing help-seeking unless safety is at immediate risk.

Classroom Strategies (for adolescents)

• Allow quiet withdrawal space
  If attending school, allow access to a safe room or time-out pass when overwhelmed, no questions asked.
• Offer non-verbal check-ins
  Use simple colour cards, hand signals, or journalling for communication if verbal interaction feels unsafe.
• Focus on containment and consistency
  Avoid deep emotional probing; keep expectations predictable and focus on stabilisation rather than insight.

Online Resources for Clients
Stay Here With Me – Compassionate self-help site for those with suicidal thoughts
Now Matters Now – Skills for managing suicidal urges using DBT and lived experience videos
CALM Harm – App offering distraction and emotional regulation strategies
The Check-In App – Designed for young people to support peers but useful for self-reflection
This Way Up – Free online programs for depression and anxiety that don’t require talking to anyone