TALKING TO TEENAGERS ABOUT SEX AND CONSENT

With so many news stories and online anecdotes about pre-teens and teens engaging in risky behaviours—such as sharing explicit images or mimicking content seen in pornography—it’s understandable that parents feel concerned.

One of the most helpful things parents can do is to be open, honest, and direct about sex. It’s important to accept—without judgement—that your teen has likely already come across some form of pornography. They may have questions, worries, curiosity, or confusion.

Normalise your child’s developmentally appropriate interest in sex and relationships, and focus on providing accurate, age-appropriate information:

• Use correct anatomical terms
• Discuss safe sex practices
• Explain clearly that pornography does not reflect real-life relationships or intimacy
• Talk about consent—what it means, how it works, and why it matters

These conversations don’t need to be perfect—but having them regularly and calmly helps build trust and openness.

Helpful Resources for Parents and Teens

• Video: The Practical Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships (Rollercoaster)
  A funny and age-appropriate clip exploring how teens can navigate sex and relationships responsibly.
• Website: Keep It Real Online – NZ Government Resource
  Created specifically for parents and teens dealing with online issues. Includes clear guidance on pornography, sexting, online safety, and how to start conversations.
• Video: Tea Consent
  A simple and widely-shared video that explains the idea of consent using the metaphor of offering someone a cup of tea. Clear, respectful, and effective.

If you’re looking for more support in navigating these conversations, Perception Psychology Mackay offers guidance for parents and counselling services for adolescents and families.